Have you ever thought to yourself: “I would make a great college dropout.”

I laugh now when I read the term “gap year” as I'm now on my fourth “gap year.”

Have you ever thought to yourself: “I would make a great college dropout.” Well, I had not. And if you haven't, you probably have now.

But, don’t hear what I’m not saying. I am not here suggesting you just drop out of college because you feel like it.

I’m here to say obedience to God is more important than fear of failure. For some, obedience is getting a degree.

It’s so different for everyone. I’m just here to share my experience where obedience happened to be dropping out. Did it come with a huge risk of “failure?” Of course. What will people think of me, will I ever get a job, will my parents still be proud of me, will I have friends, the list goes on.

But I knew the peace leading me in the direction to take time away was from the Holy Spirit, and following Jesus would be so worth the cost.

But let's go back a few years.

It’s senior year of high school. The excitement, anticipation, and healthy stress is flowing through the halls of school and your heart. Where will I go to college? What am I going to do with the rest of my life? What’s my major so I KNOW what I'm going to do for the rest of my life? Who am I going with? Who am I saying bye to and leaving behind?

I'm sure you can relate or are relating.

Although I still had all these questions, I confidently packed up all my things at the end of summer ‘19 and moved into a dorm with (thankfully) one of my best friends as a college freshman at NC State.

Although every change and transition has hard moments: leaving home, meeting new friends, taking harder than high school classes, freshman year was undoubtedly a ball of fun. I made my own schedule, didn’t have a curfew, lived with my best friend, and spent my weekend at tailgates or frat houses.

So yes, it was fun, but I knew deep down there was more.

Towards the end of my freshman year, this thing called covid happened that seemed to shut down everything in the world. Including the “college experience.”

Before this moment, I had never considered a gap year. I grew up thinking: you go to college and get a degree. Until I realized that (because of COVID online transitions) I’d be paying my life’s savings just to sit in an apartment an hour from home and learn from my computer. For someone who craves adventure, that sounded like something that would leave me pretty hungry.

So, after prayer and practical thinking, I decided to take a “gap year.” I didn’t fully have a plan for that year, I just knew I bet I could find something exciting.

I waited tables and lived at home after summer was over (while all my friends went back to school). I was definitely getting stripped of everything that felt safe/comfortable. Here I was alone at home, unenrolled from college in a culture that seems to say you can’t survive without a college degree, living with my parents again after a year of “independence,” feeling like I lost all my friends as they went on with their college classes and lives, and going through a break up that felt devastating at the time, all while experiencing (along with the rest of you) a global “crisis” that seemed to strip away the things that “kept me going” (gyms, churches, restaurants etc.)

I remember sitting in my room and crying on the floor asking God to help me understand what to do or who I am - like the “why am I here” kind of questions.

I had no idea that dropping classes would lead me into this weird “identity crisis.”

So, I did what any distraught 19 year old girl would do. I began to look for “the next great adventure.” Something to get me out of this rut. I began dreaming, reading, creating, and patiently listening to God.

I began to understand the heart of the father, and that he truly never leaves me. In the lonely moments in my room, I sought his presence. In the dry parts of my day, I soaked in his word.

This season felt like the most stagnant season at the time, but looking back, I think it couldn’t have been more pivotal for my life.

I bet you’re like okay that’s great for you Ella, but how does this apply to me? Well, what’s your next step of obedience? My “drop out” was a first major step of true, faith-filled, obedience. Your “drop out” moment could be starting your college degree or taking a job in faith. Or it could be pausing a college degree or quitting a job in faith. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you that you hear God.

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish” John 10:27-28

Practical Steps: sit down with the Lord and ask these questions

1. God, what are you speaking over my life? BIG PICTURE “WORDS” (can be very vague). ex: I will see freedom in gen z, I’m called to the business world, I feel a tug to the nations, etc.

2. God, what are more specific words (not as broad, maybe shorter term) I’m not going to give examples, because this is where, if you listen, He’ll get specific

3. God, what is my FIRST step of obedience to fulfill said word?

As he speaks, obey.

“If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth.” Deuteronomy 28:1

It’ll be hard, but obedience is always more fulfilling.

TESTIMONY OF OBEDIENCE: I'll go in depth in other blogs, but in this season of leaving school, I started my own business (lifted!), developed a deeper relationship with my family, watched FOMO fall off of my shoulders, and found an opportunity for international missions that would change my life forever!

What is your “drop out moment?” And will you say yes?

UP NEXT… I just explained the process of WHY i dropped out, but WHAT I did when I dropped out. Now that’s a story for another time…or in another blog:)e